just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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