Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
