used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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