I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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