Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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