Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
