He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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