it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
