I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
