My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
