Small penises have feelings too.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
