I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
