it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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