I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
