I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
