There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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