I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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