sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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