i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
