BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
