How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
