did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I love you. Go after that dick
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
