I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
