I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
