I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
