i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
