is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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