Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
