Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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