so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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