You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
