My nipple is on Facebook.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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