I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
honey bunches of taint.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
