i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
