I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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