gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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