We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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