how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
