You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My balls are so social today.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
