Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
