I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
