Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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