is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
