Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
