Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
