Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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