Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
