swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
