theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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