I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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