Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
