If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
