she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
