Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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