This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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