I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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