Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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