You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
