just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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