I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
40s are totally the cure
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
