We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
