I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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