butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
