And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
