Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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