stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize