I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize