But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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