You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
