he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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