So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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